For the past ten years or so, I have been a part of several movements or conversations with each lasting a couple of years. First it was the simple/organic church movement. Then I was part of the emerging church “conversation.” ,that was followed by the missional movement, and kingdom simplicity.
As I watched each of these, frankly I became disallusioned. I really didn’t believe they were having the impact on the local church that is needed.
The Lord slowly changed my direction. One he made it clear that he loves his church, even if I don’t approve of the direction it is going. He doesn’t need me to try to fix it or correct it. That actually was very freeing. The Lord let me know I could spend my energy criticizing the church or I could spend my time going where he wants to take me.
With that, I began to simplify my life. I got rid of lots of stuff. I began watching where I spent my resources. I stopped watching TV. I used to be a frequent visitor to Christian book stores to pick up the latest must read in whatever movement I was looking at or identifying with at the time. The Lord whispered to me one day and asked “why are you here? My Word has everything you need.”
So I have quit reading Christan books
I am part of the Sacred Trust at the Prayer Room in DFW. I became part simply because I love the focus, prayer, worship and God’s word. I love spending time with Jesus. Because of the new emphasis, earlier this year, I experienced a breakthrough. It was subtle. It wasn’t a big aha moment, but it was one of the most powerful things that has ever happened to me. I came to the realization, that I was loved by God – and I loved him.
I had gone for years trying to earn his favor and earn his love. I knew in my head he loved me, and I beleived I loved him as well. But spending time just in worship and prayer changed me somehow. One day I realized he really did love me. It was in my heart not just my head anymore. I also knew that I really did love him too.
I no longer pursue ministry as a part of my identity. I know my identity is in Christ. I don’t need ministry to make me feel important or fulfilled. I have tht in Jesus. I will do ministry, but this ministry is in listening to the Lord, hearing him, and obeying and it is powered out of the overflow of his love and presence.
I no longer have the desire to get tied up in theological arguments and “what ifs”. Instead, I prefer to spend my time in the presence of the Lord.
Tags: Jesus, prayer, simplicity, Word, worship